Lowcarbezine! 23 December 1999

Yikes!  I leave town for Christmas tomorrow,  (Make that today!  I
started this yesterday, but -- well, you know the holidays!) and I still
have *tons* to do, including put out this week's issue of Lowcarbezine!
Here's the good news -- one of the things I've been working on, *hard*,
is low carb cookie recipes, and they're working out *great*!  I'll be
giving away the test batches for Christmas presents, --  my
father-in-law was diagnosed with Type II diabetes this year, and my
sister is a low carber as well, so big assortments of low carb cookies
sounds like pretty good bet to please them.  Recipes below!

By the way, I won't be putting out an issue of Lowcarbezine! next week,
since I'll be out of town.  Have a Merry Christmas, a Happy Kwanzaa, and
a very Happy New Year -- and I'll see you in the 21st Century!

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All contents Copyright 1999 by Hold the Toast Press.  All commercial use
is expressly prohibited.  As always, feel free to forward Lowcarbezine!
to family and friends you feel might enjoy it, so long as you forward it
in its entirety.

If Lowcarbezine! has been forwarded to you, and you enjoy it, you can
subscribe for FREE at http://www.holdthetoast.com .

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Thought For The Week

Anyone feeling a little stressed out yet? ;-D

It's epidemic this time of year, and it's a darned shame.  We've taken
what used to be a joyful time of hanging out with family and friends,
and turned it into a combination marathon, commercial free-for-all, and
trying to make up to our loved ones for not having enough time for them
through the year.  If we don't find *exactly* the right gift, or *get*
exactly the right gift, or get all the decorations up, or the kids
dressed exactly right for the holiday pictures, or... we're  frustrated,
guilty, angry, hurt, whatever.

Breathe.  Have a cup of that Swiss Miss Diet Hot Chocolate we talked
about a few issues back.   And remember that your ancestors got a solid
12 days off at Christmas in which to do all this stuff!  There's no way
you can make Christmas what it "used to be", and are you sure you'd want
to?  Me, I'll take a shorter, simpler Christmas  in a house with central
heating, indoor plumbing, and a gas oven, thank you very much.

Here's some totally non-commercial things that have been a far more
traditional part of Christmas than piles and piles of purchased stuff:

Dancing
Singing
Making your own music (Do you realize that before the invention of
record players, people used to *sing* at parties?)
Sitting around the fire telling family stories
Long, happy meals with lots of laughter
Prayers of gratitude
Playing games -- not just board or card games  -which have to be
purchased -- but party games, like Charades or Blind Man's Bluff.  (Find
a book at the library!)
Telling jokes and riddles
Charity
Reading aloud

About that last item:  I love to read aloud.  My mother always read to
us, and I read to my husband on long car trips, or just as a very nice
alternative to television.  Here's some suggestions for holiday
readings:

_A Christmas Carol_, by Charles Dickens
_How The Grinch Stole Christmas_, by Dr. Seuss
_Little House on the Prairie_ and _On the Banks of Plum Creek_, by Laura
Ingalls Wilder, both have wonderful Christmas stories in them.  If your
kids are reaching an age where you'll have some 'splainin' to do about
Santa, _On the Banks of Plum Creek_ has the best explanation of Santa
ever.
_The Gift of the Magi_, by O. Henry
"'Twas the Night Before Christmas" (actually, it's "A Visit From St.
Nicholas") by Clement Clark Moore
and of course
The Bible.

To borrow from the afore-mentioned, immortal Dr. Seuss, it'll come
without ribbons, it'll come without tags, it will come without packages,
boxes or bags.  Christmas Day is in our grasp, so long as we have hands
to clasp.  Christmas Day will always be, just so long as we have we.

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A Special Note To Those Whose Families Are Not So Idyllic

While most of us (gosh, I *hope* it's most of us!) will be spending time
with people we love and enjoy this holiday season, I am sadly aware that
there are more than a few people whose families are  more like armed
camps, with nasty little arrows being fired back and forth, or even big,
ugly bombs being dropped.  If you are from such a family (and you're not
in there being ugly with the worst of them), you have my profound
sympathy.

One possibility is simply not to see them.  Yes, you are permitted to do
this, even at Christmas.  You are not required by law, morality, or
anything else to put up with people who deliberately try to make you
unhappy.  I know that we all hope for reconciliation, especially at this
time of year, and sometimes it works.  But I also know several folks I'm
fond of who have had relatives that they have simply had to drop, for
their own sanity, and for whom this was a hard, but very good, decision.

If it's someone you feel your kids need to see -- your parents (their
grandparents), your ex-spouse -- drop the kids off and pick them up
later.  Feel you need an excuse?  Volunteer at the local soup kitchen or
charity organization; they can use all the hands they can get this time
of year.  How can anyone give you a hard time for delivering Christmas
dinner to shut-ins, without sounding like an ass?

Maybe there's just one or two family members who have to stick pins -- a
sib, a cousin, whatever.  Memorize this handy-dandy all-purpose
comeback:  "How very kind of you to say so."  Got it?  Not, "You jerk,
how can you be so mean?" or "Yeah, well screw you too."  No.  "How very
kind of you to say so."  As in:

"Gee, you've gained so much weight!"  (Little do they know you've taken
off ten pounds in the last two weeks.)
"How very kind of you to say so!"

"Lost a lot of hair, haven't you?"
"How very kind of you to say so!"

"If you were worth anything, you'd have a better job by now."
"How very kind of you to say so!"

"I can't believe that wife of yours is such a lousy housekeeper."
"How very kind of you to say so!"

Isn't this fun?!  You'll drive them *absolutely nuts*, while retaining
the moral high ground, and looking like a class act to everyone else
there.

Acceptable variations are, "How nice of you to notice!" or -- given the
season and all  -- "And a very Happy Christmas to you too!"  This last
is useful for loaded questions, where "How very kind of you to say so"
won't quite fit.  For instance, "Is that good-for-nothing dead beat
husband of yours ever going to amount to anything?"  "And a very Happy
Christmas to you too!"

(If you're wondering why "Happy", not "Merry", it's because I learned
this useful phrase from a British man I dated years ago.  I rather like
the English phrasing, but feel free to use "Merry" instead.)

Hope this helps.  Next year, consider spending Christmas with FRIENDS!

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New Years Resolution time is a'comin'!  Be ready to start your low carb
diet in the brand new  century, with the fun, friendly, easy-to-read
book that gives you *tons* of options!  _How I Gave Up My Low Fat Diet
and Lost Forty Pounds!_  Read the first chapter FREE at
http://www.holdthetoast.com .

Be aware that we will not be shipping between December 23rd and January
2nd, as we will be closed for the holidays.  However, you can click
through to Amazon.com from our website, and order there!

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Product Review

All those planning to go to at least one party between now and January
1st, raise your hands.

Thank goodness this is the internet, or I would have been knocked over
by the wind from all those arms going up!  Okay, so it's party season,
and in particular, in just over a week we're facing the most heavily
hyped party night of the past thousand years.  I have a feeling that
those of you who drink are going to be indulging in the next few days!

So let's have a quick rundown of which alcoholic beverages are the
lowest carb, shall we?

Dry wines -- burgundy, cabernet, pinot noir, merlot, chablis, rhine, and
the like, are a fairly good low carb choice -- most of them have between
3-5 grams of carbohydrate per glass.  Sweet wines, of course, are high
carb, as are wine coolers.  If you're a wine cooler fan, you might
consider mixing a couple of ounces of wine with diet lemon-lime soda.  I
personally like wine spritzers -- 2-3 ounces of dry red wine over ice in
a tall glass, and then fill it up with berry flavored (but unsweetened)
sparkling water.

Beer is more problematic.  Most beer is in the 14 gram a can or bottle
range, which is a *lot*.  However, Miller Lite, available just about
everywhere, has only 3.5 g per can.  Milwaukee's Best Lite is also in
the 3.5 gram range, and has the added advantage of being *cheap*.  Coors
Light is 4.7, and Amstel -- the tastiest light beer to my way of
thinking -- is about 5.  After that, they go up, with Michelob Light
being over 11 grams per bottle!  If in doubt, ask to see the bottle or
can.

Basic hard liquors have no carbs at all, so if you like whiskey, gin,
scotch, rum, vodka, or tequila (my favorite), you're in luck.  Just do
yourself a favor and order a big glass of water back, so you're not
gulping straight booze for thirst!  On the other hand, flavored liqueurs
-- stuff like the whole wide range of schnapps -- are all *loaded* with
sugar. So are things like amaretto, Irish Cream, etc.  Steer. clear.

How about mixed drinks?  The majority of them are high sugar -- pina
coladas, daiquiris, whiskey sours, grasshoppers, screw drivers, tequila
sunrises, Long Islands, all that stuff.  If you want a mixed drink,
here's some possibilities:  Rum and cola, made with diet cola; gin and
tonic made with diet tonic (yes, regular tonic is loaded with sugar), a
margarita -- but ONLY if it's a real margarita, made with tequila, fresh
lime juice, and Triple Sec.  The ones made with margarita mix are -- you
guessed it -- full of sugar.  A Bloody Mary is not too bad, since tomato
juice is one of the lowest carb juices. A simple whiskey and soda or
scotch and soda is fine, or you could use diet ginger ale as a mixer.
And of course, martinis are mostly gin, and therefore quite low carb.

If you're having a party at home, you might invest in a bar tending
guide, and learn to mix cocktails from scratch.  My handy-dandy food
count book tips me off to the fact that many cocktails have far fewer
carbs when "made from recipe" than when "made from mix" -- like those
margaritas.  Worth looking into.

Then there's the official beverage of New Year's Eve -- champagne.  It
comes in Dry, Extra Dry, and Brut.  Oddly enough, the stuff labeled
"dry" is the sweet stuff!  The driest is labeled "brut", and will have
the fewest carbs -- just over 2 g. in a 4 oz. glass.  Extra dry is about
3.5 g. per glass.  Hey, drop a strawberry in that!

Remember, too, that you needn't drink if you don't want to.  If you
carry around a glass of diet cola, iced tea, or sparkling water with a
wedge of lime, it's highly unlikely that anyone will even notice you're
not drinking.  On the other hand, you might want to advertise the fact
-- I mean, someone is going to have to drive all those drinkers home,
right?

Drink wisely, and have fun!

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That it!  Time to pack!

Wishing you and yours all the best for a *wonderful* holiday!!!  See you
in the next millenium!

Dana W. Carpender
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