What Do You Say, Dear?

I know this is an older post - but did a search on gluten free and this was one of the topics, so I thought I would answer the question !
I just tell people no thanks and sometimes I say carbs give me heartburn - cause they do, actually, (but I'm sure it's the gluten)..
I love being on low carb and not having to take an antacid once or twice a day - EVERYDAY...weird, but I'll take it!
I was thrilled to see a huge section at my grocery store that is all gluten free. I noticed that there is quite a variety, even name brand items - for cereal, cake, brownies, even hamburger helper !! But I also noticed higher prices. And something disheartening to me - they are loaded with carbs....I thought that gluten free was signifacantly lower in carbs (wishing anyway).
I buckled down when Lent started plus excerising every day (just a 15 min 1 mile walk).... can't wait to step on the scale at Easter - I feel better, my clothes are fitting better...let's just hope the scale is kind to me !!

I'm pretty outspoken, and well-known for low carbing amongst friends, acquaintances and repeat waiters. I have many different approaches depending on the person and the occasion.

In most casual social settings, I feel great about spreading the good word about my low carb lifestyle. I share. I preach. I give away copies of the Fat Head DVD!! I tell people that I have significantly improved my health and lost weight low carbing. And even though I have a lot more excess weight to lose, it is working! And it's working well!!

But I do moderate myself if my low carb enthusiasm seems to be inappropriate for a particular person or situation...

I was at a Jewish wedding recently where the food was kosher. There was some meat and a lot of carbs. At a wedding, that's somebody's special day and not the place to make a scene... I just ate the bits I wanted and went with a polite "No thank you" for the rest.

With people who are as committed to low-fat or vegan as I am to low-carb, depending on their personality, I enjoy a friendly debate. If they can take it. If they also like to argue and don't get offended. Otherwise, I clam up a little and go back to a polite "No thank you." I don't force myself on anyone.

To family and close friends, people who worry about my health, refuse to accept my low carbing, who just want me to TASTE it, or whatever, I just keep saying NO, and try to make them understand that my food choices are, well, MY CHOICE. And that refusing to eat their carbs is not - in any way - withholding my love or approval. So, I give them a big smile and a big hug, and tell them I love them, but I'm not going to eat their carbs...

I am a huge proponent of being completely unapologetic for my food choices. I don't apologise for hating fish. I don't apologise for loving avocado. I don't apologise for riding a motorcycle or wearing orange. Why should I apologise for eating fat and protein instead of carbs?

In cases where somebody cooked or baked something just for me, like a birthday cake, I truly am sorry that they went to the trouble for nothing, and I apologise, and say, as politely as I possibly can, that they should have checked with me first. And that I don't eat... whatever food they would respect most (sugar, gluten, artificial sweeteners, etc.)

I used to feel guilty about this... But here's what cured me: I have food allergies. Aspartame makes me violently ill within a few hours of ingestion. I have had every kind of diet dessert imaginable made "just for me" by some well-meaning friend, who filled it with aspartame to reduce calories. I have no problem at all saying that I can't have it and I don't want it. I have better places to be for the next 12 hours than in the bathroom!

So, I just applied this healthy logic to carbs, and I was cured!! No more guilt.

When I want to eat sugar or starch, I do. That's my choice. And I don't apologise for that either. But I don't eat carbs to make other people feel good about themselves!!

I hadn't thought about it, but I do feel apologetic - but TO low carbing rather than ABOUT low carbing. I lost 100 pounds five or six years ago, then moved. The folks around here don't know that I've lost so much weight. They just see that I still need to lose another 100 or so. So I figure that if I tell them I've been eating low carb for the past six years, they'll just take it as confirmation that low carbing doesn't work. Not the message I want to give!

Restaurants aren't a problem - I just order protein and veggie and/or salad and leave it at that. When on a cruise last summer, I found that it was easiest to ask for gluten-free. All of the wait staff seemed to have had that drilled into them. Hidden sugar type (sauces, etc.) things were a bit iffy, but other things I could pretty much tell by looking.

I usually tell friends and acquaintences either that I am diabetic or that I can't have gluten, depending on what is being offered. Gluten usually works well, if what I'm offered has flour, but doesn't work for other things. Diabetes isn't as successful, because I still get "just a little bit won't hurt" or "I'm diabetic, too, and I just increase my insulin." I tell them that I'm probably a lot stricter than most people because I have my diabetes completely under control with diet, and I want to keep it that way. That usually works.

My family and close friends know that I eat low carb. My family (especially older generation) tell me that it isn't doing much good. I respond that my cholesterol numbers are better than perfect, blood pressure is low/normal, and blood sugar is right where it belongs, and that's why I stick with it.

Perhaps I'm fortunate to live on a small Island. Many people here do alternative things, mostly 'health' food or Gluten Free. So, I blend in with the low carb type of diet. Overall, I have found restaurants, even on the mainland, to be very accommodating. There's never a problem asking for salad instead of potato or whatever it is I prefer.

This past summer, several of us got together Wednesday evenings to share a low carb meal. The idea was that we could each learn new things and share recipes. We did the cooking together and then enjoyed the fruits of our labour. It was loads of fun and a very supportive way to stick to the diet.

After six months or so eating low carb, I don't even think about it. Fortunately, my DH loves the low carb meals and is very enthusiastic about how svelte he is looking too!

I stopped eating gluten back in January to see if it would help my every-other-day migraines - it did, I was "headache-free" after 3 weeks. Since then, my diet has slowly evolved (or de-evolved) to a "Paleo-style" diet. Over that time, I've lost almost 40 lbs and dropped from a size 22 pants to a somewhere between 14 and 16.

Friends are surprised at the weight loss. Just this weekend, a friend asked me, "Where did the rest of you go???" LOL That's when they usually ask, "What diet are you following?" I tell them straight out, "I eat protein, fruit, veggies and fat." "That's it?" "That's it." "Wow...you have some major willpower." They think they'll die if they don't eat pasta or rice. *rolls eyes*

They don't understand that I slowly made changes to my diet so I don't feel the affects. I don't feel deprived. I love the extra energy. I love feeling "good".

I think just "living the low-carb life" is enough. People around you see the difference in your energy-levels, skin, health, and weight...and want to do what you're doing. I answer truthfully when they ask me questions and provide sources and information when they want it. Otherwise, I don't push, I don't "preach to the masses". Too much preaching pushes some people away.

I'm a bit more militant, I preach low carb, call sugar evil or poison. Bread and its relatives, too. Post LC propaganda on Facebook and Usenet and send it to family. I just laugh at people who say it will kill you, at 74 I have lived longer than I ever thought I would, the last 7 years of it on low carb.

After 8 1/2 years of low carbing you'd think it would become easier, but my husband is definitely not lowcarb and still tries to give me sugary things. I've become pretty good about just telling him no. Out in the real world though, if you tell people that you just don't eat sugar it's ok since eveyone knows sugar is bad (even though they still all eat it anyway) but I say I don't eat sugar or starch. That pretty much covers it. I definitly don't say low carb, that still has some sort of stigma and people give me a hard time. It's actually pretty easy to eat out in restaurants. They are always willing to make substitutions (starch for veggie) if necessary and if something I order comes with bread I just put it aside. I don't make a big deal out of it.

When I am offered something high in carbs, I thank the person and decline, saying "Thank you very much, but it doesn't look good on me." as kind of a joke, and add a little laugh afterwards. Sometimes that will do it, other times I will add "Maybe next time." if necessary.

I think the D-word is going to be self-explanatory enough for folks.

Dana, I love your blog and it's given me a lot of strength and ideas in the past couple of weeks since I've been diagnosed. Thanks for all that you do!

Most of the time I say "No, Thank you." and I complement that it looks lovely or something like that. If pushed I also say that sugar makes me sick, makes me break out (it does - acne) and I imply it gives me the runs. Usually no one wants to give someone in the office the runs, esp. with a public bathroom.

I tell people I'm low-carb in casual conversation because I love that I've lost so much weight without the heartache and suffering that I went through before. So I say something like "You know, I used to be almost 300lbs?..." or something like that. I know it's not subtle, but I've never been accused of that. People notice I order salads to replace fries, eat lettuce wrapped sandwiches, and have no fear of mayo or bacon... They just figure it's normal for me, because I also have never been accused of being normal - that I'm aware of.

I never say anything except a simple "No thank you" with a smile, and then I continue with the current conversation at hand. If I'm offered again, I just repeat myself, and again move on. Why should I bore others with my dietary decisions? Egads, I hate it when others do that. When you offer meat to someone and they say, "oh, no thanks, I'm a VEGAN" and then they glare at you, waiting for a response. Why can't they just say "No thanks"??? Puhlease. I never want to be one of those people! LOL

Love your blog, btw... just found it today by reading one of my favorite blogs, Fat Head.

I've been low carb for almost 12 years and at one time or the other used all of the above (including my severe allergic reaction ... my butt swells if I'm not careful about what I eat).

In restaurants I have found that wait-staff are very accommodating in finding out if veggies, sauce, etc. have sugar/flour in them and usually return with sub recommendations. Yes, they get good tips.

When anyone asks how I can not eat (fill in blank), I respond that it’s not hard at all and usually leave it at that. I’ve also responded that if I was going to blow carbs then it will be on something I really like (like dark chocolate and red wine – that usually gets an understanding nod of agreement).

I am not apologetic at any time, and the people I work with, my friends, and my family are all supportive … but after all this time, they either have bought into lower-carb themselves or learned to respect what works for me. BTW, guests know that if they come to my house for a meal or barbeque they have to BYOB – bring your own bread.

Gosh, I've been at this so long, I hardly even think about it. People who know me, of course, have long ago given me up as a lost cause. People who don't know me all that well just think I'm weird (come to think of it, the people who know me think that, too). But whenever I go to a restaurant or any outside eating opportunity, I make sure to show by my attitude that it is not a hardship for me to skip that stuff (but I try to be polite enough not to call it "that stuff" or "that junk.") Occasionally I fail :-)

I find that with waitstaff, I just act as though it's the most normal thing in the world to ask to skip the potatoes or whatever the poison of the day is (and I smile a lot and leave good tips). What I also have discovered is that if I consider this behavior to be 100% normal, the waitstaff at least pretends to, also. I rarely order hamburgers, but on the rare occasion I do, I just accept the bun and set it to the side. I seldom mention bunless. I just do it.

So now I have to confess: on my cruise last week, I waited until very the last night (so I could only do it once), and ordered the Warm Chocolate Melting Cake. THEN, since it is served with ice cream, I asked the waiter if he would please bring me a scoop of the sugar-free ice cream instead of the regular. He laughed out loud! The nerve! (Actually he was really cute and I enjoyed every minute of it!) The WCMC? Yes, it was sinfully good, but I have since discovered I can make a SF version at home that I like better, especially since it doesn't make me sick! I am not 100% certain, but I think next cruise, it'll be easy to pass up.

I speak up in some situations, like refusing dessert at a party. I usually say "I don't do carbs." I don't feel the need to explain to waiters becuase I think their job is to get me the food I want -- just like they do for anyone who wants dressing on the side or extra cheese or whatever. When my husband first started eating this way he compulsively explained "No friess or bread We CAN'T eat them (or we're not allowed) with a big sad face. He has gotten over that, maybe by my example. Or maybe because he wants to eat like this now. He told his mother the other day, "We'll never go back to eating like that!" And he was proud about it. :)

When people comment on it, especially when they are negative, we are happy to tell them about hubby's amazing blood test results every year since he dropped the carbs.

Actually I have told people "Sorry. I only eat gluten-free" and they ooh and ah at my trendiness. That way I can escape "eat this brownie" "have some cake". And most people aren't really sure what it is so they don't ask questions and they feel sorry for you. You tell people you eat low carb they tell you you are going to die.

Hi, Dana and all.

I'm at a seminary where my eating habits are well-known. But a number of people have seen my "before" picture, and they appreciate my will-power. I often comment on the dessert du jour, for example, because I have to pass it to get to the salad bar. And, it is sometimes funny. For example, I point out that the chocolate cake with frosting combines a fruit (cocoa bean), a legume (vanilla bean), and tons of sugar!

Actually, in a parish setting, I am usually very upfront with my diet because so many people want to feed me junk. But, I often praise the people for their beautiful looking food and desserts that I don't touch. I don't tell them it is junk. They get a compliment out of me and respect me for my eating choices.

John

I say "ooh... sorry.... no.... can't...allergic to bread...makes my a$$ swell terribly" while gesturing with my hands the view of my imaginary swollen rear end.